I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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