found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
