Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
