Kiss
Puke
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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