You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
