I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
