I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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