were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
