I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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