When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
