Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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