I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
