I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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