Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
