I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize