You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize