if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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