And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
