obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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