we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
