I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
