If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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