It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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