Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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