he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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