She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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