grandma shit on top of the toilet
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
