i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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