the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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