if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Acid is not a monday night drug
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
