There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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