READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
