can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
