he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
