why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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