Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
