walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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