3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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