sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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