He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
