I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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