Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
