Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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