Someone shit on the floor
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
