A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
