no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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