ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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