I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
