I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
