I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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