I think im going to throw up on grandma
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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