My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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