i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
