My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
