He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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