If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
As shirtless as possible
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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