They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
