Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
