My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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