we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize