The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
