There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it's like iHOP with fire
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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