her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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