Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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