So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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