and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
