I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
