the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
