i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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